Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Thank you and renovations

It has been a fair while since I last posted.
After a truly heartbreaking period of almost 8 weeks in hospital, my father died on 4th August.
Despite knowing that he would not survive, it was still the most devastating thing.
Losing a parent is monumental. I miss him so, so much.

To add extra stress to the month, our renovations began:


We have no kitchen or bathroom, so have moved out for the next 4 months or so. It's an understatement to say it has been a bloody nightmare logistically and emotionally.


The one very bright spot in all the stress and gloom was a trip to Indonesia to stay with our wonderful friends C&G.
They moved to Bali earlier this year and have the most beautiful villa, complete with staff.

We spent a very healing and lazy 9 days swimming, eating, drinking and generally indulging.

Pool at the villa


Now we're back and trying to adjust to our new life without my father, living in a rented house.
Thank you so much for all your lovely messages since my father's accident. It really warms my heart to have the support of so many people on the Internet.

I won't make any rash promises that the blog will be updated super often, but I am slowly trying to get my life in order and so hope to blog more often!

39 comments:

  1. Hang in there baby. Your new normal will be arriving shortly. I can not imagine your loss and the sadness of losing your father. Much, much love.

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    1. Thanks BB. It's hard. My mother is particularly grief-stricken after being married for 55 years....
      Hope you're well?

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  2. I am definitely praying for you. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs.

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    1. Thank you Rynetta, very much indeed.

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  3. Hang in there Ruth. I am so sorry to hear of your family's loss and grief.

    SSG xxx

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    1. Thanks SSG, very much appreciate your words.

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  4. Good to see you post again.
    i can not even imagine loosing my father:(

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  5. Two very stressful events at once - just truly awful. I'm so sorry about your Dad, seeing a loved one in hospital and doing the bedside vigil is just horrible, especially when you are waiting for the inevitable. Thoughts are with you Ruth and the family, and I hope the renovation is one of those dream jobs where everything goes to plan and you can move home soon xx

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    1. Dear Heidi, you're so right about the vigil. Almost 8 weeks of hospital visits. Being a grown up is hard.
      Renovation seems to be going well so far.....

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  6. I am so sorry for your loss, and can't imagine how stressful it's been to deal with a renovation and living in a rented home, on top of everything that has been happening. I'm glad you and your family had the chance to relax in Bali for a little bit. Wishing you much strength, and hugs if you need one.

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    1. Thank you so very much, Louise. It has been a hard year so far, but we're strong and staying positive.

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  7. I can't imagine what you're going through, and I have no words to make you feel better, but I can offer much love, support and hugs. Hang in there!

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    1. Thank you, AB. I really appreciate your words and thoughts.

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  8. You have been missed Ruth and I'm very sorry for your loss. He must have been a very good man to have such deep affection from you and your mother. Those are the men who should be celebrated...and who are always of great interest to me.

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    1. Hi GSL, I've missed my online community too, but it means a lot to read your comments. My father was a good man. His death has created a big void in our lives, but a new normal is unfolding, and I am happy to have known him.

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  9. Hello Ruth,

    This has obviously been a most worrying and stressful time for you and your family. Things will never be the same, but a new order of things will emerge. Give yourself time and have patience for it will come.

    How thoughtful and kind of your friends to welcome you to their Villa and look after you for a short time. It cannot be easy for you having your permanent home in turmoil and being in rented accommodation with all the upheaval that this brings. Still, time us a great healer for all things and the renovations to your house will be wonderful. All will be well.

    Take the greatest of care.

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    1. Dear Jane and Lance, thank you for your thoughtful words. You are so right that time is a great healer, and the renovations are something to really look forward to.
      We are slowly coming out of our dark period, and thank goodness for some sunny days. Sydney has had over a month of rain, which has been good for the land, but horrid for the soul!

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  10. Ruth I'm so sorry for your loss. Your father sounds like he was very well loved and as you deal with your own grief you are also a support to your mother which I am sure she appreciates It's a whole bunch on you especially considering the fact that your family has had to move to a rental.
    I hope the grief eases a bit and that you are resting and taking care of yourself, that vacation in Bali sounds like it was a Godsend. Big hug across the miles xox.

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    1. Dear Dani, thank you so much. Bali was such a wonderful relief after all the grimness and stress. I think we all drew much strength from it.
      Good luck to you with your renos! We can support each other through it.

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  11. I am so sorry for your loss Ruth. You and your family are in my thoughts. Lots of hugs.

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  12. Hello Ruth, I'm so sorry to hear about your father's passing. Your mother will need your support more than ever now, so sad to lose her partner of 55 years.

    I'm glad that you were able to get away and relax - after the strain the last couple of months that was such a gift. I hope you can face the grief and your reno with renewed strength. All the best, x.

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    1. Hi Patricia and thank you so much for your words. It is very helpful to read such lovely comments and it does give me strength and positivity. Sharing our stresses really does help.

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  13. I am so very sorry about the loss of your beloved father. This post made me teary. Try to hang in there, it takes a lot of time to process a loss like that. Normally I'd say keeping busy is a good thing, but this relocation during construction doesn't sound like a helpful kind of busy. Hugs from me too.

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    1. Dear Cate, thank you. It is such a big thing, losing a parent. Even though we knew he wouldn't make it, the depth of loss is so acute when it does happen. I'm pretty busy at work, which is both good and bad, but I have an amazing support group so things are not bad.

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  14. Oh Ruth, I am just so very, very sorry to hear that you have lost your father. I know your pain must be so overwhelming right now, and I am praying that you will find peace and healing as you continue on. Your stay in Bali sounds relaxing, and I'm glad to hear you and your family were able to get away for a bit of a break. Please take care, and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

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    1. Thank you Melissa. I really appreciate your thoughts and prayers. Bali was wonderful, and I am very grateful for the trip.

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  15. So sorry for your loss bc as you say losing a parent is one of life's rites that is monumental. I hope that the Reno goes smoothly and it will ease you back into a gentle pace x

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    1. Thanks Naomi. It's been a hard year. The reno is going well so far.... fingers crossed.

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  16. I have been wondering about you and your Dad. I know he was much loved, and having no parents of my own now, i can certainly understand the pain you are going through. My one piece of advice is to be kind and gentle with yourself. If you try to push through, working too hard, etc, it can really be quite awful (speaking from experience here).

    much love sweetie!

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    1. Thank you dear Wendy. It is so hard.... I'm trying to find time and space, but it is hard. If I can get through the next 3 months at work, I'll be fine, as the Dec/Jan hols are always a good space to breathe.

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  17. Big hugs. Glad you had a lovely time in Bali xx

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  18. My deepest and sincerest condolences to you and your family for the loss of your father. It's good that you had some time to relax away from home. It does help. Looking forward to your future posts x

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    1. Dear C &TT, thank you for your words. I hope to be less frantically busy one day, and post more. To be honest, I don't really have much worth saying at the moment, but I'm sure that will change over time :-)

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  19. I am so, so sorry to read this, ruth! Hugs to you, your mom and the rest of your family! May your father rest in peace.

    Good luck with the renos! I went through that about six years ago and it was absolute hell.

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  20. Oh, Ruth. I'm so sad to read this.
    It's been 15 years since my dad closed his eyes for the last time, and I still find myself saying "Pop would never have put up with this idiot," or "Pop would have let her have it..."
    I wish you peace.

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  21. The Istikhara is an Islamic tradition which is strongly rooted in our culture of Iran, India and Pakistan. Amil Bangali Baba"
    Man Pasand Shadi

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